There’s certainly no shortage of imaginary friends on this website … the Army of Ink (all 50 + of them!) … the BOys from the BOy series.
But are there also benefits in having an imaginary enemy? Mine’s The Joker. It’s a good thing to be able to separate the bad stuff, the dark thoughts, from yourself. So much easier to challenge when it’s out than in. To have those battles with something/someone on the outside - rather than turning it in on yourself. Feel free to make enemies with this clown – make him your own. Click on ‘The Joker’ TAG on your right to view previous Joker posts – and stay tuned …
Another one about imaginary friends.
… with a firm grip on what he’s got.
BOy culture seems to load lads up – sometimes, with more than BOy can bear. And if BOy can’t bear it – saying so isn’t an encouraged option, because BOy is supposed to be tough – right? Or maybe it’s BOy culture that’s wrong? Maybe BOy should be valued for his sensitivity, honesty, authenticity, difference and ability to grow and evolve beyond the confines of BOy stereotyping - rather than his worth being measured by size, strength, toughness and how much he can do? I had a refreshing conversation with a bloke a while back, who talked about his close friend who’d taken his own life. His honesty was astrounding …
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“I was only joking” – is a what some people say to get away with saying what they really mean. Fooling around with peoples heads is a dirty game.
A friend called last night and was going through a really rough time – and giving herself a hard time because she wasn’t coping as well as she should … so I wrote this note … and emailed 3 troops from the Army of Ink her way. Is there someone you know that could do with a nice E mail or some ink? Feel free to pass it on …
If someone where to ask …. ‘what could I do that might make a difference to how a young person felt? I’d probably say something like – try this … next time you’re out and about and you see a young person who may be dressed weird. May act strange. Be a bit of a rough sort. Have an attitude. Is in need of a good scrub. Or should be at school! Not hanging around making a nuisance of themselves ... STOP! That’s where change starts. What if you reserved judgement and acknowledged their existence with a warm look, a nod, a ‘how ya goin”? Scary thought? What’s the fear about? The young person? Or running the risk of making an idiot of yourself maybe? So let’s imagine … if tomorrow, kindness reigned high above fear? Would it cost you anything to indulge? Would you stand to lose anything? I suppose you could run the risk of being viewed as weird - but then that would make two of you. Which might help you both feel less alone in this crazy world? And let’s say you received no obvious outward sign of appreciation for your risk taking kindness – could you still be kind? Would you be kind again tomorrow?
Pic from favourite book ’A revolution of Kindness’ by Anita Roddick
It is the simple act of storytelling that illuminates the darkness.
An image, a string of words, that accesses places beyond consciousness.
It is truth spoken from a damaged soul that warms the heart.
The expression of another’s pain that has the power to heal.
Poem from my book. Art by Jamie Russell
