“My self destructive side, had grown a mile wide.”
Saw this movie (documentary) recently about Amy Winehouse. The heart could not help sink as you watch this brilliant, sure footed, upright, gutsy young women disintegrate. I was left with one question—where were all the good men? Where were all the ‘good men’ within her management who said ‘No’ to her exploitation. ‘No’ to the fans who wanted more when she had all but a thread of Amy left. Said ‘No’ to the touring she was physically and mentally unfit to do. Where were the good men in her band and in the audience who said ‘No, this is not right’ and saved her from the humiliation of being plopped on stage only to crumble, unable to perform before adoring fans who perhaps also should have said ‘No’. Where were the good men among the paparazzi who said, ‘No. We can’t continue to hunt her down like a pack of wild animals.’ Where were the good men (and women) who refused to buy the magazines that kept the paparazzi feeding on her. If we don’t learn something from this, and it doesn’t inspire us to question and challenge popular culture and our part in it, then we’ll continue to lose more Amy’s. If only she could have been given the space, time and encouragement by those around her to find peace in life – and mend from all that fuelled her self destructive side.
On this particular day, something precious came to its end. Two breaths became one.
Footnote: This little girl’s previous arrival is here but I’ve since found other useful layers of meaning – not relating to loss …..
A docked boat is one that has been taken out of a damaging environment for repair and restoration. It’s going nowhere right now, but it still has a place – and relevance. I think this ‘pulling up’ process is one we have to continually engage in – and make time for. To restore ourselves. To stabilise and question; ‘Where to from here?’ But the pace of life too often gets in the way. Interrupts. And doing ‘nothing’, taking time out for ourselves, isn’t something viewed in a positive light. So it’s the ‘stopping’ I feel in the image that’s important – and in urging us to do the same.
“A time to go – a place to stay”? reflects not only creating a place in our lives for those who we have lost but it could also be about choosing (in our living lives) what to move away from and what to hold on to and really importantly….. what we can take from all of that’s made us who we are and use it in the building of our future selves.
What if being different meant you’d never be alone again ?
Imagine…if those of us who felt different could be strengthened in our difference through the sharing of stories….which wouldn’t mean we’d all become the same ….but we might feel less alone in our difference….
“It’s a feeling you have that you know something about yourself, that nobody else does. The picture you have in your mind of what you’re about will come true. It’s kind of a thing you kind of have to keep to your own self because it’s a fragile feeling and you put it out there and somebody will kill it. So it’s best to keep that all inside.” (From CBS 60 Minutes interview 19th November). Another musician with hidden talents, Michael Stipe from REM here.