There’s certainly no shortage of imaginary friends on this website … the Army of Ink (all 50 + of them!) … the BOys from the BOy series.

But are there also benefits in  having an imaginary enemy?   Mine’s The Joker.   It’s a good thing  to be able to separate the bad stuff, the dark thoughts, from yourself.   So much easier to challenge when it’s out than in.   To have those battles with something/someone on the outside - rather than  turning it in on yourself.    Feel free to make enemies with this clown – make him your own.  Click on ‘The Joker’ TAG on your right to view previous Joker posts – and stay tuned …

Another one about imaginary friends.

Write – even if it’s messy and you can’t spell.   Draw – even if you think you can’t.  I’ve found more substance in my scribble –  than I’ve read in books.   Seen more through my drawings - than through my own eyes.    And found this great quote  …. “Drawing can be a potent problem-solving aid for both children and adults.   A drawing can let you see how you feel.   Putting that another way, the right brain, by means of a drawing, can show the left brain what the trouble is.  The left brain, in turn, can use its own powerful skills—language and logical thought—to solve the problem.”       Betty Edwards    Pass it on …

… with a firm grip on what he’s got.

BOy culture seems to load lads up – sometimes, with more than BOy can bear.  And if  BOy can’t bear it – saying so isn’t an encouraged option, because BOy is supposed to be tough – right?    Or maybe it’s BOy culture that’s wrong?   Maybe BOy should be valued for his sensitivity, honesty, authenticity, difference and ability to grow and evolve beyond the confines of  BOy stereotyping -  rather than his worth being measured by size, strength, toughness and how much he can do?  I had a refreshing conversation with a bloke a while back, who talked about his close friend who’d taken his own life.  His honesty was astrounding … 

… he recalled a conversation he’d had with his mates over drinks at the funeral wake.  He said the guys were all saying how they wished their mate had talked to them, told them how bad he was feeling.   And this guy said, “Bullshit!   If he’d told us we’d probably all have called him a ‘pussy’ and told him to toughen up.”   I think that moment of honesty separated the man from the BOys.    And I’d also seen a little five year old BOy cry recently as his Dad clipped him on the shoulder and told him to ‘toughen up’ and not be ’such a sook’ (sadly a different to the BOy I talked about in  # 6).    Maybe it’s not about BOy being a ’sook’ – but BOy culture being way too tough?  Pass the BOy on … and/or click on the BOy Tag on the right to meet previous BOys.

“I was only joking”  –  is a what some people say to  get away with saying what they really mean.    Fooling around with peoples heads is a dirty game.

A friend called last night and was going through a really rough time – and giving herself a hard time because she wasn’t coping as well as she should … so I wrote this note … and emailed 3 troops from the Army of Ink her way.  Is there someone  you know that could do with a nice E mail or some ink?  Feel free to pass it on …

If someone where to ask …. ‘what could I do that might make a difference  to how a young person felt?   I’d probably say something like – try this … next time you’re out and about and you see a young person who may be dressed weird.  May act strange.   Be a bit of a rough sort.   Have an attitude.  Is in need of a good scrub.  Or should be at school!   Not hanging around making a nuisance of themselves ...   STOP!    That’s where change starts.  What if you reserved judgement and acknowledged their existence with a warm look, a nod, a ‘how ya goin”?    Scary thought?   What’s the fear about?    The young person?  Or running the risk of making an idiot of yourself maybe?   So let’s imagine … if tomorrow, kindness reigned high above fear?   Would it cost you anything to indulge?  Would you stand to lose anything?  I suppose you could run the risk of being viewed as weird - but then that would make two of you.   Which might help you both feel less alone in this crazy world?   And let’s say you received no obvious outward sign of appreciation for your risk taking kindness – could you still be kind?   Would you be kind again tomorrow?

Pic from favourite book ’A revolution of Kindness’ by Anita Roddick  

It is the simple act of storytelling that illuminates the darkness.

An image, a string of words, that accesses places beyond consciousness.

It is truth spoken from a damaged soul that warms the heart.

The expression of another’s pain that has the power to heal.

Poem from my book.   Art by Jamie Russell

The Inch is a piece EV (Secret 29) held close and shared in her story.    It also opened the floodgates and brought to life the troops in these diaries  …. and still guides me today.

… love the fella who makes my bread.  And that he’s coated  in self-raising flour!

Love the person who writes on my bread.