Begs a BOy question … Why are bear hugs, group hugs, butt slapping, tears and kisses acceptable (applauded even) on footy fields and in sporting arenas, yet in school yards, work places, and often the homes of growing lads, it’s often viewed as a sign of immaturity, weakness or ‘gayness’ – inviting tags such as ‘Mummy’s BOy’? A BOy’s rite of passage can be a lonely place.
(Boy Series, Clunk & Jam book, 2019)
The knowing and the doing don’t much like the company of each other. The doing wants to keep doing – and the knowing doesn’t know how to stop. So if the knowing can’t stop the doing, wonder what can……
BOy culture seems to load lads up – sometimes, with more than BOy can bear. And if BOy can’t bear it – saying so isn’t an encouraged option, because BOy is supposed to be tough – right? Or maybe it’s BOy culture that’s wrong? Maybe BOy should be valued for his sensitivity, honesty, authenticity, difference and ability to grow and evolve beyond the confines of BOy stereotyping – rather than his worth being measured by size, strength, toughness and how much he can do?
BOy is often told; “You know what you’ve got coming to ya!” But when BOy doesn’t. When BOy gets it wrong. Does it make what he got – right? And why should BOy have to be brave in the face of the cowardly acts of others? Why does he think he should be able to get there in time to change the course of bad things? Will he remain forever frozen on the edge of anticipation? Will there come a time when it’s safe for BOy to say “I don’t know?” When BOy is encouraged to feel and react to his own emotions and pain? When he can warmly and sensitively console another – BOy? Say ‘yes – it hurts’ and ‘no – that’s wrong’ ? To thaw and skip like stones beyond his tightly bound existence?
(Above) Interview with Bruce Robinson a Perth Doctor and Scientist who heads ‘The Fathering Project’, a University of WA based group helping Fathers be exceptional Dads. Article found in The Australian Financial Review 5-6 July 2014.
Paul Jennings, an author well known to young readers, talks about rejection; losing (and finding again) the confidence to write; fame; and boys wanting to fly. (Interview by Dumbo Feather, a magazine).
