When you’ve come from a place of hurt and brokenness and you have lost much and you have these stories and a whole bunch of imaginary friends who continually show up for you no matter what and help you put things back together and you prefer keeping to yourself because when you’ve been hurt or broken you fear the world like nothing else and all the things that could possibly go wrong (again) and you’re fragile and exquisitely sensitive and you want to protect that very precious breakable thing and hiding away feels majorly comfortable and showing yourself feels like being dropped out of a multi-story building but you take fear’s hand and in the other the most strength giving thing you have and together you venture beyond the hurt and brokenness and you’re mildly terrified and slightly excited but you have everything you need to take that brand new step as the one you’ve put back together again and no one can take that from you and you’ve made it and you know from now on you’ll keep on making it and you’ll never be alone again I love you Clunk & Jam .
Clunk & Jam’s Story …
Clunk & Jam evolved from an idea (back in 2008) to create a street newspaper, a printed way to share the art and stories from The Black Dog Project website. This was with some good people who kindly created the Black Dog website – Mike Cairns, Che Douglas and Kareen. Stormie Mills and Miso were some of the artists who kindly agreed to contribute artwork.
The drypoint print titled, ‘My Secret is Out’ (original in colour), by Shana James.
‘Coming Home’.
Shana’s art titled, ’My Secret is Out’, seems to strongly reflect the struggle of ‘fitting in’, of feeling like an outsider, but also the comfort and content of being alone with one’s self – in your own space and world.
Footnote: We all start out worthy little humans. Deserving of love and care – and our own special seat. But sometimes things go wrong. Don’t go to plan. You make mistakes. Maybe you don’t turn out like you thought you would. Or how others thought you would. Sometimes other people treat you badly. And it’s catchy because you end up treating yourself badly too.
And then this little girl taps you gently on the shoulder and sits you back down in your goodness. And with this kind gesture, you are reminded of the worthy little human you started out as. And so you put the brakes on all the punishing , beating yourself up business. And reintroduce that little human to the love and care that is, and always has been, most definitely deserved.
Some days absolutely kick your arse, things go wrong, or worse just not quite right, seemingly one thing after the other, you feel like as the song says, “If it wasn’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all.” As the minutes tick past it feels like a grindstone on your will power and then the doorbell rings and it’s anxiety, but anxiety doesn’t bring anything. Anxiety is a thief. Those are the days you learn to breathe, those are the days where we are really tested. Those are the days you just get through, even the nights are long! The strongest people know where they have been broken, so there is tomorrow, bring it on, tomorrow we will fly again.
Footnote story: When you’re a nice person who is caring, kind and considerate of other people’s feelings. It’s quite a blow when you come into contact with people who aren’t nice. Sometimes cruel and hurtful. Careless with their words – and the feelings of others. It can knock you flat.
But then you get back up and learn to be a bit more economical with your niceness. Careful about the amount of good energy you give to certain people and ensure it goes where it is safe,respected and appreciated. And when you feel how bad the opposite to nice feels, you realise just how important it is in the world.
