She’s no damsel in distress – in her upside down clown dress.
Nothing seemed to fit. Having tried on so many ways of being herself, she finally reached the exhausting conclusion that maybe all the things she was trying on were just way too big for her. And maybe she’d just have to tailor make her own little world where she could be her entirely unique, odd and small, good self.
This is Impossible – So Let’s Get Started.
Below is an excerpt from a student’s exploration of the book, ‘Clunk & Jam’, for an English assignment. Thank you RB for choosing Clunk & Jam to review and the personal insights you’ve written about and kindly (bravely) shared …
‘The Super Hero series stems from Browne always having had a strong social conscience and being very sensitive – particularly to the suffering of others, or bad things happening. There was a part of her that wanted to save the world (the child/teenage) – knowing full well she couldn’t (the adult self). “I was one of those kids who felt really responsible for people around me and what was happening. And then I had experiences where no-one showed up for me, so I lost faith in the notion of real life Super Heroes.”
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Rose took her life into her own hands .
Rose does things her own peculiar way, never relinquishing personal plans of the most unconventional type. She confidently makes unadvised decisions which often place her outside of all things mainstream. Rose fully embraces this difference, the unique directions she plots, and the independence her own decision making affords her. She works within a space-like time frame, creating objects galore that keep her safe and sound in mind – and well outside the orbit of others. Long Live Rose.
Footnote: ‘Taking her life into her own hands’ may be about not only about being self reliant but also keeping all the good things safe and close. Protecting those things from the tendency many of us have of self sabotaging and diminishing our own worth. Protecting all parts of ourselves from the horrible habit of comparison maybe? And within that small, precious space, setting our own limits. Being less our own enemy and dimmer of our potential.
(Clunk & Jam and Wisdoms of Rose books, 2019. Reposted from 2013).
A Recipe For Dreaming (from a two dollar book) .
“Take one dream. Dream it in detail. Put it into your own hands. See its final outcome clearly in your mind. Then mix it with a little effort and add a generous portion of self-discipline. Flavour it with a wholesome pinch of ambition. Stir briskly with confidence until the mixture becomes clear, the doubt separated from the resolution. Then bake at an even temperature in a moderate mind until the dream rises and is firm to the touch. Decorate with individuality. Cut into generous portions and serve with justifiable pride. Approached in this manner, life is a piece of cake. Good luck? Is what almost always comes to those who use the recipe for dreaming and, having dreamed their dream, never, never give up until they have it.” Bryce Courtenay.
Find in Clunk & Jam book.
(Reposted from 2008). You will Find Relief here.
In relation to the diagnosis of ‘depression’ and the feeling of being ‘depressed’ … I’m uncertain how much of what I’m experiencing are normal feelings and how much is due to a chemical imbalance in the brain? How much of how I’m feeling and experiencing is influenced by past trauma and bad experiences. Circumstance and environment? Belief and perception?While having a diagnosis of depression, anxiety disorder, PTSD and other conditions of mind can help make sense of things and provide a guide for treatment and medication (if necessary). Giving it significance beyond that can further darken our world. It can lead to the perception that, ‘something is wrong with us’. A perception by ourselves and others that we’re weak or flawed. And it can be the entry point into the isolation of social stigma and shame associated with ‘mental illness’.
(Art Harley Manifold, original in colour).
It has been helpful to separate myself from the diagnosis. To work out not, ‘what is wrong with me’, but ‘what’s not right’?
What remains are giant and often unmanageable feelings. A cocktail of emotion. Anger and rage in the mix with sadness, hopelessness and despair. Fear. Panic without a cause. Sensitivity or intolerance to light, noise, stress – people. The world around me. Places I can no longer go. Unrelenting critical head talk. Crippling self doubt. Dominant dark thoughts. Sometimes unbearably intense – other times, blunted. A feeling of nothing.
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Rose wasn’t cursed with good looks .
Rose is free from any expectation to be abnormally beautiful 24/7, which leaves her undefinable by looks alone – and alone she is. Consequently, Rose rarely receives invitations of the social kind but isn’t bothered by being omitted in this way. In fact, it affords her three good things. One, more time to herself. Two, being left alone to be herself. And three, to live within the containment of her own tangible world. With such a high level of self acceptance, Rose manages to by-pass all standard dress codes and cosmetic alterations of the conforming and horribly restricting kind – and mirrors.
Footnote: In a world of ‘likes’ and ‘followers’, this Rose is independently refreshing. Always good to question who and what determines our worth.
(Wisdoms of Rose and Clunk & Jam, 2019 books. Reposted from 2013).
