Sometimes you have to find a way of separating the badness from your self .
There are so many of us who have been given a bad apple. It is the worst thing in the world to receive. Just like having a bad apple in your bag, it rots – eventually ruining everything. This little soldier has a story about ‘outing’ bad apples – and rising from the ruin …..
… Someone put a bad apple in her bag once, and although she was sure people could tell something was wrong, she didn’t show anyone the apple because it was so bad – and she worried it would make them feel bad too.
The little girl’s greatest fear became that if she ever took the bad apple out, or someone discovered it, they wouldn’t want her anymore. They’d think she was bad. She forever longed for someone to get rid of the bad apples for her.
On most days, she wished the bad apples had been put in someone else’s bag.
Hey first I wanna say really like your music i have lost my beautiful wife in cancer and my dear brother in covid 19 my question to you is how keep you going on after lost your son its hard sometimes to keep going on with life.
There is little to say to someone who has lost a loved one that is of itself any real help. That has been my experience. Language falls short before the immensity of the experience of grief. There are simply not the words. My well-meaning and desperately worried friends would speak into my grief, using words that made no sense. They would tell me that my son lived in my heart, for example, but I genuinely did not understand these words because when I searched my heart I found nothing but chaos and despair.
One desperate morning, however, I did the most simple of things and perhaps this can help you with the loss of your wife, and your brother, more than my words. I sat by myself, in a quiet space, and called upon my son by name. I closed my eyes and imagined lifting him from my heart — this tormented place in which I was told he lived — and I positioned him outside of my body, next to me, beside me. I said, “You are my son and now you are beside me.”
You’d never be trodden on again. You’d be able to see exactly what was coming. Where you were going. And always have a safe place to fly up, up and away from it all.
Footnote: Sometimes imagining we have super powers or a super power watching over us can get us through a tough spot (Mary Poppins ‘spit, spot’ comes to mind). Wings on feet? Astro Boy? Maybe it leaves her hands free? To do what? Take the world off her shoulders perhaps? But there’s no world in the drawing? Maybe others can’t see how much the weight of the world affects her – she feels it alone. Or could it be a muscle man (woman) pose? Flexing her muscles and being strong? Or it could be a shrug – ‘I don’t know, don’t ask me? I don’t have all the answers.’ And with wings on her feet she’s forever safe from falling – being hurt. Up, up and away is such a comforting thought when things get tough.
Look around you. If there are others all moving in the same direction, and they look like you, and they move like you, and they all like the same things, and they hate the same things, and they are angry about the same things, and they are screaming about the same things, chances are you are on the wrong path.
If you turn and veer onto a different path,even though these people who all think the same thoughts, and say the same things, and behave the same way, may look at you, and may scoff at you and may even threaten you, carry on — as uncertain and crooked as the path may be. Keep moving, because though this path may not be the easiest path, or even the best path, it will be the most interesting, the most instructive, even the most enlightened path. It is your path, where you get to be who you want to be, say what you want to say, and love what you want to love — your path — and you can take much comfort from that, because you may be the one who shudders, you may be the one whospins and glows, you may be the one who shines, you may even be the one whobursts into flames, but even still, there you are and all along you go — your path, your path.
