Footnote: It’s very important to be the pioneers of our own lives – and to be prospective about our possible future and future selves. (Originally in ‘Rock The Boat’ handmade book, now in Clunk & Jam 2019. Handwriting by Mags).
“My self destructive side, had grown a mile wide.”
Documentary on Amy Winehouse. The heart sinks watching this brilliant, sure footed, upright, gutsy young women disintegrate. One question seem clear—where were all the good men? Where were all the ‘good men’ within her management who said ‘No’ to her exploitation. ‘No’ to the fans who wanted more when she had all but a thread of Amy left. Said ‘No’ to the touring she was physically and mentally unfit to do. Where were the good men in her band and in the audience who said ‘No, this is not right’ and saved her from the humiliation of being lobbed on stage only to crumble, unable to perform before adoring fans who perhaps also should have said ‘No’. Where were the good men among the paparazzi who said, ‘No. We can’t continue to hunt her down like a pack of wild animals.’ Where were the good men (and women) who refused to buy the magazines that kept the paparazzi feeding on her. May we learn from this to question and challenge popular culture and our part in it. If only she could have been given the space, time and encouragement by those around her to find peace in life – and mend from all that fuelled her self destructive side.
A time to go – place to stay.
On this particular day, something precious came to its end. Two breaths became one.
Footnote: A docked boat is one that has been taken out of a damaging environment for repair and restoration. It’s going nowhere right now, but it still has a place – and relevance. Perhaps this ‘pulling up’ process is one we have to continually engage in – and make time for. Time to restore ourselves. To stabilise and question; ‘Where to from here?’ But the pace of life too often gets in the way. Interrupts. And doing ‘nothing’, taking time out for ourselves, isn’t something always viewed in a positive light. So it’s the ‘stopping’ in the image that seems important.
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Little Star .
When the lights go out I cannot see, but when I sit alone in the dark with the glow of real stars above, the warmth of the distance soothes the longing to be close. Now, when I go out into the woods at night, it’s not a star that will grant me my wish -it will be my own candle glowing in the dark.
Footnote: This little soldier is originally from the Rock The Boat handmade book. Which is what often happens when you endeavor to make personal change. Or when you tell the truth. It ‘rocks the boat’. The small, feathery space where she sits calmly with a single lit candle might suggest a quiet, personal vigil. One that reminds her to value herself and the small space and life she’s so painstakingly created. A space that keeps her protected from harm – her world snugly contained. Allows her to control when the ‘lights go out’ rather than the onset of darkness being manipulated by those around her.
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STOP! I want to get off!
Sometimes I go around and around and around – just in case I’ve missed something. This little girl was caught in a spin, going faster and faster fearing those waiting would lose faith in her ever finding her way. But when she did finally get to where she was going, she realised it was she who needed the lift. This discovery released her from the endlessness of the spin that nearly drove her mad and put the brakes on her frantic drive to continually deliver.
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Give It Back .
Sometimes people take things that belong to me. I’ll help you find it again.
(Find her in Clunk & Jam, 2019, ’21 Friends’ Series.)
