I wanted to be a star … but ended up an out of place rock. I suppose at least I’ve got the place all to myself.
Footnote: “The worst loneliness is not being comfortable with yourself.” A quote by Mark Twain. This ink is sleeping soundly now she’s found her place. She’d always wanted to be popular. To fit in and to have all the nice things others had. And so, the cycle of discontent was set in motion at a very young age. Now she seems to have staked out her own place and although she’s alone – she’s not so lonely anymore. She seems to have secured her place with pegs and ropes and gathered around her all the essentials for survival. Wood for warmth. Fire to keep threatening things away. Help her see and fill her belly. And in the warm glow of her cloth she wonders … what if society viewed those who are different; do things differently; follow their own path, as a quality – not a problem. And maybe if it wasn’t considered a problem, it would put a kind of patch on the feeling of loneliness often felt so intensely when not acknowledged or accepted for who we are.
(Originally from ‘Rock The Boat’ handmade book. Reposted from 2009. Now in Clunk & Jam, 2019).
Going Nowhere—sometimes I don’t know if I’m coming or going.
This little soldier was relatively determined there must be a better place but she’d have to put all these constant distractions out of sight and mind before she could possibly arrive at a decision. As she began the packing away process, a thought occurred that helped her stop for longer than intended…perhaps by trying to do everything, she could very well end up doing nothing of great significance at all. Or worse still, she’d just be tugged and pulled in all sorts of directions—other than her own. Case closed, she set foot and mind on a moth ball free path, steady as she goes—her own way …
(Reposted from 2011. Find her in ‘Clunk & Jam’ book.)
And what if a BOy stops pretending he’s fine? What if a BOy cries? Lets out the worry? Says he’s scared? Puts his hand up for help? Why should he be called a sook, a pussy, pansy, poofter, sissy or EMO? Why do they tell him to pull himself together, keep his chin up, soldier on, tough it out – not to worry because … you’ll be right mate? Finding words can be hard for a BOy, so is finding his feelings – showing them even harder. But if it’s really so hard for a BOy to talk and feel and cry – doesn’t that make the BOy who does – tougher than all the other BOys?
So let’s champion for a new age BOy who has learnt that more is lost in war than won and fighting his own battle; conquering his own fears and demons; freeing himself from the silence and pretending will be this greatest victory – and contribution to the world.
(BOy Series, Clunk & Jam book 2019)
The life of a Super hero. Artist Andreas Englund says;
“I wanted to let people get to know the man behind the mask and tell his story uncensored. My superhero is far from perfect but that doesn’t mean he is isn’t good. He’s just human. Perfect people is just boring and predictable and who wants that?”
Boy Oh BOy .
Oh BOy. The bound up BOy. Crushed beneath the pressure, the grind to be tough and strong. Big. The overwhelming wave of responsibility to save everything from time, to the environment – the world itself. But I’ve seen the BOy dance and cry. Read poetry out loud. Wear makeup. Pick flowers. Speak his truth. Challenge his world. Name his feelings. Play piano and sing. Hug another BOy.
BOy oh BOy I cried…and a dream saw hands on the wheel of change. Ploughing a culture in where the feelings, vulnerabilities and experiences of men and BOys cannot be freely expressed and accepted. Burying the angst that has the potential of bringing BOy to his own end.
BOy oh BOy said the dream … may ideals and expectations of the BOy be reset, redrawn. May BOy be moved and freed from his grueling vigil by the roar for change. The momentum of the march towards it. And the wonder at a way and time when BOy is no longer required to be just one of the boys anymore.
(Clunk & Jam book, 2019).
And anyway, fixing is rarely quick and some things are better left alone – like the notion of the Super Hero and this whole saving the world business.
(Clunk & Jam book)
